I spend a lot of time discussing screens with parents. The majority of the discussions center on dread.

They remark, "I'm so concerned that my youngster is turning to screens." "Are they dependent? What can I do to make them stop?

I can appreciate their viewpoint. I have 16 years of experience as a clinical psychologist, including time spent working for the National Health Service of the United Kingdom and in private practice. In addition, I'm the mother of a teenage son and an 11-year-old daughter.

One of our generation's bogeymen is "screen time." We attribute our children's sadness, rage, or lack of involvement to screens. We obsess about screen time so much that it often feels like setting stringent screen time limitations would be the mark of a successful parent in 2022.

How to define screen time

The most peculiar aspect of this is that "screen time" is a misnomer. You cannot identify it unless you believe that the screen—a sheet of glass—has a mystical, negative impact. A screen just serves as a gateway to several activities that also take place offline. These activities include playing video games, conversing, reading, writing, watching documentaries, learning to code, learning new languages, and creating art.

Just recently, my adolescent and I engaged in a round of Redactle, an online word game. Since we've been doing it every day for months, we've also learnt about poetry, science, history, even bed bugs. Are word puzzles harmful because they must be accessible via a piece of glass?

Even Nevertheless, parents are concerned about "too much" screen usage and seek concrete solutions. They inquire, "Is 30 minutes a day too much?" When I question them about their children's screen time, they almost ever have a clue. Common reactions include "spending time" or "watching garbage." Parents seldom watch television with their kids since many of them claim they don't want to promote it.

Put an end to the minute count

I advise parents to take a break to stop counting down the seconds and spend some quality time observing their kids. They surprisedly come back.

Parents watch their kids interact with pals as they play. They are creating their own mini-games or studying the nations of the globe by heart. In Minecraft, the Titanic has been constructed. The bogeyman of "screen time" begins to fade.

Screens, in my opinion, offer families a chance.

They provide an opportunity to bond with our kids while engaging in activities they like. Additionally, there are advantages that certain young people cannot obtain elsewhere.

Some kids I come across don't feel capable elsewhere in life, but they feel confident in themselves when they play video games. They come to life when I tell them about Plants vs. Zombies. We provide advice on how to best protect the home against roving zombies. They like playing games, but everyone advises them to divert their attention. No other adult often seems uninterested.

I see a lot of lonely young individuals. They struggle to make friends, or they've experienced bullying at school. Online gaming may be their first foray into social interaction. They don't have to begin by speaking; instead, they may write in the in-game chat until they are ready to switch to voice chat. They appear when they are ready.

Some of the young kids I deal with struggle all day long to maintain their composure. They use their smartphones as a method to occupy space. They don their headphones and begin playing a well-known game. They rejuvenate, enabling them to handle their day for a little while longer. It's a fantastically portable way to unwind.